


Choke.

by SpacePancake



Category: Dungeons and Daddies (Podcast)
Genre: Crack, Dubsquared, M/M, Willy Stampler is His Own Warning, bill doesn’t try when it comes to being evil, but he DOES try when it comes to being a little bitch, but in my defence? its funny, crack ship, im so sorry, like really sorry, or being a parent, this is just a joke please believe me im just out here to be funny and have people yell at me, triggering stuff mentioned in the notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:34:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26669032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpacePancake/pseuds/SpacePancake
Summary: The dads escape Castle Ravenloft with their kids and Willy isn’t exactly pleased about it. Bill is look unrespectfully.// Y’all KNOW I had to get on the dubsquared train eventually. //
Relationships: Bill Close/Willy Stampler
Comments: 7
Kudos: 16





	Choke.

**Author's Note:**

> Alright guys let’s put all the cards on the table. these bitches? suck major ass. so they come with a whole heap of content warning baggage that may be potentially harmful or triggering to you. stay safe
> 
> cw: homophobia, use of the long f-slur (text is censored with *), physical violence (choking, shoving), romanticisation of anger and abuse bc bill’s weird, nothing explicit happens and is only mentioned once vaguely but this whole thing feels horny anyway so I feel like I should say that somewhere

Bill watches nonchalantly as Willy struggles in the distance. It’s almost satisfying to watch him be rendered helpless for once, it was a pretty neat spell Glenny threw at him. Bill decides to take using it more himself into consideration. 

He doesn’t move to help. He doesn’t especially _feel_ like moving and Willy will get himself free from the spell’s effect eventually.

His mind drifts instead. He should ask Barry to grab him some more of that good shit they had at Oakvale at some point. Those cult freaks really do have the good kush but he isn’t exactly bothered enough to go talk to them himself and he’s sure that place is going to turn Jonestown eventually. Bill much rathers himself alive, and he’s sure that if he died, the other omega dads would simply look for an alternative to his supply of daddy magic rather than find a way to bring him back. Barry doesn’t like the rest of the group much anyway, so he’s probably already planning to visit Oakvale soon. Bill would ask him about the weed later.

On the far side of the bridge, Willy pushes himself to his knees. The arrows sticking out of him from every which way are devoured by a black mold that crawls out from Willy’s skin, before they crumble and drift away in the wind. He stands to his feet and turns towards the castle with a certain amount of dramatic flair, his purple cloak swirling around him as he spins. The glower on his face holds the fury of a thousand suns, each step he takes towards the castle like a crack of thunder. 

It’s pretty hot.

He storms across the bridge faster than he usually moves and walks straight past Bill to glare up at Castle Ravenloft itself.

“The kids escaped.” Bill points out.

Willy sends him a look that gets Bill feeling all hot and bothered under the collar. “Uh, yeah. I’m fucking aware of that, you useless sack of shit. I’ll get to _you_ later.”

“That a promise?” Bill asks, but he doesn’t think Willy hears him on account of the fact that he doesn’t usually like hearing what Bill has to say ever.

Willy turns back to the castle. “Barry, get your ass out here, you fucking _idiot.”_

Barry comes out in a handstand, but lets it fall into a chakrasana when he nears Willy. “It’s _Bear_ , you know. Bear Ri’Oak? I try my best to say your name to _your_ preference, I’d like if you could return the gesture. It’s good faith.”

“Not much of a bear.” Bill comments. Neither of the other two pay him any attention.

Barry continues smiling at Willy. “What was it you wanted then?”

Willy explodes. “What the _fuck_ was that whole show?? What kind of level of _brain dead_ do you have to be to fall for that? You think I’d ask you to retreat? You think I’m a fucking pussy?”

Barry inhales deeply. “Your negative energy is overpowering right now. Take a few deep breaths, find your inner balance.”

“ _Inner balance.”_ Willy practically growls out, voice reverberating around the area despite being out in the open. Like the perfect chord. “I’ll show you inner balance, you good-for-nothing tree hugger.”

He sends some sort of curving forcibly-charged spell towards Barry’s legs, but Barry swiftly transitions into the sarvangasana pose and avoids the hit completely. He sighs, looking pretty controlled for a man in a shoulder stand. 

“I’ll go after them, talk to Hen. This level of violence… it’s distasteful. So much wasted energy. Hen can be convinced, I’m sure, but _your_ sons may be just a little more… _difficult._ ”

Willy crosses his arms. “If you don’t bring a kid back with you, I’m sending you home to your dirt eaters in _pieces_. Got that?”

Barry’s smile stays put, but it looks a little strained. “If you say so.”

He lets his legs fall forward, but his shape changes before they hit the ground. In the blink of an eye, Barry goes from a pompous looking half-elf to a large bird — flying past Willy just close enough to annoy the man further.

Willy turns to Bill at last, eyes bright with anger still. “And _you.”_

Bill nods. “Hey.”

Willy marches over to where he’s standing, with height enough over Bill that he eclipses him. He throws an accusatory finger close to Bill’s head. “You did _nothing._ Absolutely fucking _nothing!_ Maybe if you had pulled your weight for once, we mightn’t have lost every single fucking one of the brats! You contribute nothing to this team, you’re _useless!”_

Bill looks up at Willy and lazily raises an eyebrow. “And?”

Willy splutters. “Wh- _What_?”

_“And?”_ Bill repeats before he shrugs. “It’s whatever, man.”

Willy takes a tight hold of Bill’s jacket collar, bringing his two hands to the front of his neck so the fabric digs tight into his skin. His knuckles are pressed tight against his throat and Bill can hardly breath. 

“Listen here, nancy boy.” Willy drags Bill’s face closer to his own, and he has to balance on the balls of his feet so as not to be hung. “You don’t _whatever_ me, and you address me as _sir._ Got it?”

Bill feels his heart speed up just a little at the show of anger. As the heat rushes to his face, all he can think to want is for Willy to choke him tighter.

“Oh, yeah?” Bill asks, and a slight grin plays at his lips. “Or what, dude?”

His collar tightens around his neck like a noose and the back of Willy’s hand digs deep into his windpipe. The cutting off of his air supply brings on an adrenaline rush, the kind of which he hasn’t felt in a long time. Like he’s actually humming with life again instead of the constant standby mode he’s gotten so used to working with. 

The edges of his vision start to blacken by the time Willy lets go, pushing him backwards with an added boost of something magical so his back slams hard against the stone pillar behind him. Bill bends over a little, coughing and wheezing as his lungs scrambled to find air again.

“Stop fucking around, Bill.” Willy says, voice flat. “You know what I could do to you.”

Bill laughs just a little, rising to the challenge. “So what? You’re going to _punish_ me? I don’t care _.”_

Willy takes a step backwards, his eyes looking Bill up and down like he’s trying to calculate something. “Are you… enjoying this?”

Bill shrugs. “What else is there to enjoy? Go on, _sir,_ show me the other kind of daddy magic.”

Willy looks at him blankly. Sometimes Bill forgets that he and Barry are so wrapped up in their vanilla het sex versions of the world that they can’t understand half his jokes. Don’t get him wrong, there’s _nothing_ sexier than homophobia, but Bill sometimes laments the fact that these two geezers never truly appreciate how fucking funny he is.

Willy continues to stare at him. “Do you… _ever_ fucking stop talking? Can’t you shut up?”

Bill walks up to Willy despite his back yelling at him to lie down, and he casually flicks back his hair to look the taller man in the eyes. “Not unless you make me.”

Bill catches the way Willy’s breath hitches and how his eyes travel downwards until they catch on Bill’s lips. There’s a stuffy silence between them for a moment as they’re left stewing in each other’s lingering gazes. 

Then Willy shoves him back roughly and makes a guttural noise of disgust that comes from the base of his throat. 

“You dirty f*gg*t,” He looks ill, his skin pale and covered in newly-formed sweat. “I’m not _gay.”_

“Oh?” Bill’s voice raises a little as he searches for something to tease him with further. “Bisexual, maybe?”

Willy turns a bright shade of red and turns from Bill as if he were a particularly bad smell. He stalks back towards the castle, rambling off death threats and slurs in equal measure. 

Bill is a little miffed at losing his fountain of attention, but grins when he realises that he’s definitely won this round. He has a lot of work to do, but he knows this was a war he can win. Willy would want to dominate him, he’s sure of it. Bill just needs a week alone with this guy. Half a week maybe. If he gets that, Bill can guarantee the man would be pushing him to his knees and setting him to work. 

Bill likes a challenge. Homophobes are always his favourite fucks after all. Yeah… Willy doesn’t stand a fucking chance, no matter how in control of things he thinks he is


End file.
